Here is some stuff I looked at through my phone...
On April 12th, 2019 two episodes of the @dynamicbanter podcast were recorded in front of a live audience at @thesodaparlor in Nashville, TN. The audio from the first episode in now available for free wherever you get your podcasts. The video will be available soon at Youtube.com/dynamicbanter. The video from the LATE show (which was nothing short of insane) will be available for purchase soon and we’ll provide you with details on how to get that as soon as it’s done. We had an amazing time. Please listen and laugh with us. 🎥 by @pakkap
Funny story about last night: Earlier in the day I was bummed out because I didn’t have a show at night, that problem was solved by my friend @avrafriedman who invited me to fill in last minute at @allmysinglefriends. It’s half standup, half dating game show. It was packed when I showed up, it always is, they do a great job. The show was being filmed for TV. This was a surprise to most of the comedians on the show. Oh man, so much funny shit happened. I got up first and was almost immediately heckled by a guy who didn’t like my hair. He obviously got got because he had @lego person hair #notsponsored. I did pretty good and I know that because when I was outside a guy came up to me and said, “That was a nice little set man” which is simultaneously condescending and sweet. There was one girl who got SUPER drunk and was heckling everyone. It was hard to be mad at her because in reality she was probably just super nervous to be single in a room filled with single people on TV. I hope she had fun. EVERY production person walked into something; bars, chairs, people, you name it. One of the camera guy’s phones went off during the show. One of the female contestants mentioned they were “submissive” in bed but didn’t want to elaborate and then some voice from the back yelled out “ELABORATE! NOW!” to be funny. I looked back to see who it was and wouldn’t you know it....IT WAS CONDESCENDING LIL’ SET GUY! What a gift. Last night was my favorite. I wish @allmysinglefriends all the luck in the word with their project. Also me and @tombosko just put a new animated standup video on my YouTube channel so please go over there, watch and subscribe if you feel like it. Love you.
Had so much fun on the TRANSLATE show with @fabriziocopano & @jesustrejo1 at @hollywoodimprov last night. Thank you so much for having me on your hot 🔥 gameshow. I had a lot of fun pointing out how racist the guy in the front row was. Love you. 🥰😘😘
Imagine being the person who dropped this milkshake in the stairwell of our apartment building (presumably, days ago). Imagine looking down at your dirt-filth mess and thinking, “someone else will clean this up so I don’t have to.” Imagine being this person’s parents. Then imagine being me, seeing this and thinking “THIS IS GONNA MAKE FOR SOME HORNY-AS CONTENT!”
Do whatever you gotta do to be totally cool with yourself. Have a nice day.
Our job is to make you laugh. We have the best job in the whole world. Thank you for allowing us to have this job. Thank you to @thesodaparlor for having us and thank you to @pakkap for these amazing photos.
Don’t read this unless you want to be inspired as fuck: This was my high school. I had a really good time here. I was also made fun of A LOT. My story is not unique. Lots of kids got made fun of. I’m from the northeast. Getting made fun of and being able to give it back was how you earned your place. I was picked on for being fat, got called a faggot for playing acoustic guitar at a local coffee shops, was given the nickname “struggles” by all of my sports teammates and coaches and so much more. I don’t regret any of it. I’ll never forget the day I started to become myself. I was getting picked on in health class in from of all the students and this girl I really liked (who has SO many kids now, obviously). I walked out of class and wandered the halls for about 20 minutes. I wanted to stand up for myself and I was sick of worrying about what would happen if I said everything I wanted to say. Then I stopped caring; I was tired. I went back to class, I let everyone have it, and I’ve never stopped doing that. I had built up an arsenal of comebacks for ever insult that was ever thrown my way and everyone got got from that day forward. No one’s words were ever going to have a negative affect on me ever again. I was 16. I’m 34 now. Nothing’s changed. I dare you to talk shit to me. You’re bound to get got. The moral of the story is: there will always be someone who is willing to put you down, especially if you’re doing something out of the ordinary. Be smarter than them, be quicker than them and stand up for yourself. Be self aware. Take ownership of your faults and improve yourself a little bit every fucking day. Use your words and be open to the idea forgiveness. I’m friends with a lot of the people who used to make fun of me because I used my words and my wit instead of my fists. Also I’m hilarious and I had sex with a lot of their girlfriends later on.
I used to be an alter boi here. I never got touched or anything. I was too annoying and only talked about pro wrestling. One time all the alter bois we’re playing softball and someone hit me in the head with a metal baseball bat. I went home and slept on the floor for a “too long” amount of time and when I woke up I was different. Anyway. Follow your dreams. #backhome
Good news: @donutcrazy is still the bessssss. Shout out to Jake for making me a bomb-ass BE&C. Double shoutout to how 80% of the staff has big muscles and made me feel like a little boi. How do you work at a donut place AND have highly defined muscles? TAKE A DAY OFF! -from the gym, not the donut place. Do less pushups.
Strat-City, your baby boi is home! 7 and 9 at @fairfieldcomedy